Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Cougars - The New May-December Romance.

"Because Black don't crack and the young ones know it." - Ms. Mattie ( a life long cougar)

Can we talk? As you know, I am a thirty something woman soon to be single again and quite frankly enjoying my freedom - for now. Eventually I would like to get back into the game and hopefully settle down - for good. But until then, I'm just looking to hang out and laugh a little. Being in the media/entertainment industry can be a blessing and curse on this front. On the one hand I come across tons of somewhat interesting but really good-looking men who are also in to music, movies, and culture. Problem is, most of them are younger. Like 5-10 years younger. My other 30 something single friends seem to be encountering the same issue, I mean here we are beautiful, successful and still full of life and it seems all the men who are our age or older are tired (literally and figuratively). Perhaps this is why more and more women 30+ are joining the ranks of the thousands ladies who now wear the label COUGAR with pride. You know, cougar, the older woman who "preys" upon young unsuspecting men, the men who once bitten come under the powerful (but oh so wonderful) spell of a mature, experienced and confident, older woman.

Hollywood is all over this trend. Halle, Mariah and Vanessa are just a few of the women who decided to go younger (and if I may say so, FINER). But it doesn't stop there, google "Cougar Dating" and you'll find more than a few websites dedicated to older women who are looking for younger men.

When I was about 20 I said that if I reached 40 and was still single I would start strolling college campuses looking for young virile (pronounced: VEE-RIYAL) men who still had a little life in them. I was only half-kidding. Since I don't plan to be 40 and single (from my keyboard to God's ears) I guess I ought to start now. Maybe I'll start with the graduate schools. Young and educated - Oh La La!
If you're wondering why a young man would want to date an older woman, you need only ask a few that have. In doing research for this post, I came upon a number of really interesting quotes from guys who love their ladies with a little "experience"

In a nutshell, here's what they said

"..she's great in bed and the most interesting woman I've ever dated."

"All the women my own age seem frivolous by comparison"

"I love a woman who knows what she wants and is not afraid to get it"

"I am man with ambition and goals. I don't have time to bother with a woman who thinks her hair and fingernails are the most important thing in life."

Now before you go out running to look for one of these youngin's, I must warn you that most of the men I've talked to enjoyed the "no strings attached sex" aspect of the pairing most, but when asked about long term relationships admitted they were looking for women closer to their age who could join them in building a life together one brick at a time.

What to do? What to do?

Maybe I'll look for a youngin' (cause I hate to call them prey) when I want to hang out or go to a Jay-Z concert or something, but when it comes time for me to settle down maybe I'll look for someone a little closer to my age. Or maybe not!

Are you a cougar? Are you a man who loves older women? Leave a comment below. We need to talk!!!!

P.S. Cocoa Says... will be back tomorrow, so don't forget to come back and tune in

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