Monday, July 14, 2008

What Do You Think?

In case you were wondering where I've been for the last few days, I was busy fulfilling my duties as bridesmaid for one of my dearest friends. During my time in "The D" I spent exactly three minutes on the internet, and that was to get directions, (ya' girl needs GPS bad!). Anyhow, the wedding was gorgeous. The bride looked fantastic. To anyone who says a natural bride can't be beautiful, I beg to differ, this bride wore her hair in a short curly fro-like style and it was fabulous. Aside from the visual beauty, the spirit of the ceremony was beautiful thanks to Rev. Adams who instead of going right into the traditional, "do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife" part, took time to talk about the joys and challenges that come with marrying your best friend. As someone who's been married and experienced her share of ups and downs I could relate, and apparently I was not alone, during his speech quite a few of the guests offered up "ummm hmmms" and "yes sirs" and "amens". As the saying goes, "marriage is not something that is to be entered into lightly" and there are many who have decided that instead of traveling down that road and risk getting lost, they'll just stay home and work it out the best they can. Which brings me to today's What Do You Think?
It was just announced that Erykah Badu is pregnant with her third child. The father is rapper/producer Jay Electronica. My inbox was full of messages from people who were curious to know what I though about her response to the comments from members of who questioned her decision to have yet another baby out of wedlock. Here's her response. I'm torn. On the one hand, I agree that what she chooses to do with her life is her business. She claims to have a good parenting relationship with both Andre and the D.O.C and at the end of the day, isn't that what's important? It's easy to stand in judgement, especially if you've been raised to believe there's only one way to do things. On the other hand, I believe it's best to raise children within the space of marriage, but that only works if if the partnership is a healthy one. Children are very sensitive to the energy that surrounds them. If parents are constantly arguing and fighting, or even if they're not but still fill the air with anger and resentment, the children pick up on it and it makes them miserable. Years ago I met a young girl who during a conversation about her home life told me she wished her parents would just get a divorce so that she could live in peace. She was only about six years old but she knew her environment was unhealthy. Would she be better off if her parents divorced? I don't know, there are other things to consider like finances and such, but she knew something needed to change. As I begin to figure out what to do about my own relationship, I know that what's right for me may not be possible for everyone, and at the end of the day, I have to make the decision that's best for everyone involved, and right now that's only three people. No more, no less. I think that's what Erykah is trying to say. No one is perfect, we can only hope that we grow and learn from our mistakes and that when it's all said and done we can rest knowing that we did the best we could for those that we love the most. What do you think?

1 comment:

Ananda said...

hey shawna. glad the weekend wedding with your best friend and her best friend/life partner/husband went well. i love the photo. tell her that they look marvelous. i read ms. badu's statement. she is the only person who knows what she needs to do for her life. this is her life. she must live it in her own way.